The day my youngest packed up their car and drove off to college, I stood in the driveway waving like an overly enthusiastic cruise director. The second they turned the corner, I burst into tears so hard that even the dog looked concerned.
The empty nest was official, and with it came a strange mix of freedom, sadness, and a nagging question: What do I do now?
If you’ve recently joined the empty nest club, welcome. It’s a weird place where the house is finally clean but eerily quiet, and your calendar is strangely wide open. But beyond the silence lies an incredible opportunity: the chance to rediscover yourself and find a purpose that’s uniquely yours.
Let’s talk about what that looks like, shall we? Spoiler: It’s a lot more fun (and a little less scary) than you might think.
Step 1: Grieve, Then Celebrate
First things first: it’s okay to grieve. When my kids left, I felt like I’d lost a part of my identity. After all, being a mom is a full-time job, and now my “bosses” had up and quit.
But here’s the thing: the sadness doesn’t last forever. Eventually, I started celebrating all the things I gained in this new chapter—like the ability to eat ice cream for dinner without setting a bad example or finally binge-watching a series that wasn’t animated.
Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings, then shift your focus to what’s ahead.
Step 2: Rediscover Your Interests
When was the last time you did something purely because you enjoyed it? For me, it had been so long that I actually forgot what hobbies I liked.
So, I made a list. Gardening, painting, yoga, learning Italian—it all went on there. I started trying one thing at a time, like a sampler platter for the soul.
Rediscovering my interests reminded me that I’m more than just “Mom.” I’m a person with passions, quirks, and a whole lot of curiosity.
Step 3: Explore New Opportunities
Once I started exploring, I realized the world is full of opportunities. Did I want to volunteer at the animal shelter? Yes. Start a book club? Absolutely. Learn to paddleboard? Why not?
Here’s the thing: trying new things is a little nerve-wracking, but it’s also thrilling. I joined a local art class despite not having picked up a paintbrush in decades. Sure, my first painting looked like something a toddler might produce, but I had so much fun that I didn’t care.
The beauty of this stage is that there’s no pressure to excel. It’s all about enjoyment and growth.
Step 4: Embrace Community
One of the hardest parts of the empty nest is the isolation. Without the daily chaos of family life, it’s easy to feel disconnected. But here’s a secret: community is out there—you just have to find it.
I started attending events at my local library (turns out, libraries are hip now) and joined a hiking group. Along the way, I met incredible women who were also navigating this chapter. We laughed, swapped stories, and bonded over the shared experience of midlife.
Whether it’s a church group, a fitness class, or an online community, finding your tribe can make this journey so much richer.
Step 5: Reignite Your Career (or Start Something New)
If you’re like me, your career might have taken a backseat during the parenting years. The empty nest is the perfect time to revisit your professional goals—or create new ones.
I dusted off my resume and started freelancing, which eventually led to a full-fledged writing career. It wasn’t easy at first (hello, imposter syndrome), but it was deeply rewarding.
Maybe you want to go back to school, start a business, or explore a passion project. Whatever it is, trust that you’re capable of making it happen.
Step 6: Give Back
There’s something magical about giving back. Whether it’s mentoring younger women, volunteering at a food bank, or knitting blankets for shelter animals, helping others fills your life with purpose.
I started volunteering at a nonprofit that supports single mothers, and it’s been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. Seeing the impact of my efforts reminded me that even small actions can make a big difference.
Giving back isn’t just good for the world—it’s good for your soul.
Step 7: Prioritize Self-Care
Let’s talk about self-care, shall we? For years, my version of self-care was sneaking a cookie in the pantry before the kids found me. Now, it’s an intentional part of my daily routine.
Here’s what self-care looks like for me:
- Morning Rituals: Coffee, journaling, and a quick meditation to start the day.
- Movement: Whether it’s yoga, walking the dog, or a Zumba class, moving my body keeps me grounded.
- Rest: I no longer feel guilty for napping or spending a Saturday reading a good book.
Self-care is about treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve.
Step 8: Set Goals for the Future
The empty nest isn’t an end—it’s a new beginning. Setting goals gave me a sense of direction and purpose.
Some of my goals were big (like traveling to Italy), while others were small (like finally organizing my closet). Each one gave me something to look forward to and a reason to keep growing.
Take time to dream, plan, and envision what you want this chapter of life to look like.
Step 9: Laugh Through the Awkward Moments
Let’s be real: finding your purpose isn’t always glamorous. There will be awkward moments, like accidentally joining a hip-hop dance class when you meant to sign up for water aerobics. (Yes, that happened. No, I don’t want to talk about it.)
The key is to laugh through the mishaps. Embrace the ridiculousness of trying new things and remind yourself that it’s all part of the journey.
Step 10: Celebrate Your Growth
Finally, take time to celebrate how far you’ve come. Finding your purpose after the empty nest isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about enjoying the process of discovery.
I may not have everything figured out, but I’m more fulfilled and confident than I’ve ever been. And that’s worth celebrating.
Final Thoughts
Finding your purpose beyond the empty nest is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and joy. It’s about remembering who you are, exploring what lights you up, and embracing the possibilities of this new chapter.
So go ahead—try something new, laugh at the missteps, and trust that the best is yet to come. You’ve got this.
Deb 🙂
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