So, you’re diving back into the world of online dating after a divorce, huh?
First of all, let me say this—you’re brave, my friend. Brave. I mean, putting yourself out there again after all that emotional baggage?
That’s some superhero-level stuff right there.
But don’t worry, I’ve got your back.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed at the thought of swiping left, matching with someone new, or writing that dreaded “About Me” section, relax.
Take a deep breath. The world of online dating has changed a lot in the past decade (or however long you’ve been off the market), but it’s not as scary as it seems. In fact, I’d argue that online dating post-divorce could be one of the best things to ever happen to you.
So grab a cup of coffee, maybe some wine (no judgment here), and let’s talk about how to navigate the wild world of online dating after divorce. Spoiler: It’s not as bad as it looks.
1. Embrace the New You
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: you’re not the same person you were before your divorce. And that’s perfectly okay.
In fact, that’s great. Divorce changes you in ways both good and bad, but either way, you’re now a different (hopefully wiser) version of yourself. You’ve learned a lot about what you want—and what you don’t want.
So, instead of trying to “go back” to who you were before your marriage, embrace the new you. Whether you’ve picked up a new hobby, changed your lifestyle, or just gotten more in tune with who you are, bring that into the dating world.
And yes, I know it sounds cheesy. But trust me, confidence is attractive. Be honest about your experiences and don’t shy away from your past. We all have one.
Pro Tip:
When you’re filling out your dating profile, think of it as your chance to show off the “you” that you’ve become. Don’t try to fit into some mold you think people want to see. The people who are really worth your time will love the authentic, post-divorce you.
2. Pick the Right Platform
Let me guess: You opened up the app store and were instantly bombarded by options. Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, Hinge… it’s like choosing from a never-ending buffet. But here’s the thing—not all dating apps are created equal, especially when you’re a little more mature and experienced. (Which is a nice way of saying “we’re not 22 anymore.”)
Tinder? Probably not your best bet unless you’re looking for something casual. Match or eHarmony? Great if you’re ready for something more serious. Bumble? If you like making the first move (or you’re just tired of cheesy pick-up lines).
Take your time to pick a platform that aligns with what you’re looking for. You don’t have to stick to just one either. Create profiles on a few, but don’t go overboard—you don’t need to treat online dating like a full-time job.
Pro Tip:
If you’re unsure, try a few free versions first and see which ones feel the most comfortable. If you want to get serious, then maybe invest in a paid version to get better features and filters.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
Look, this isn’t Hollywood. You’re probably not going to find your soulmate on day one (but hey, anything’s possible). More likely, you’ll meet a few people, go on some dates, and discover that not everyone is your cup of tea. And that’s okay! Online dating is a numbers game, and patience is key.
The important thing is to stay positive and not take rejections personally. Someone ghosting you? Not your problem—that’s on them. Remember, the goal isn’t to win over every person you talk to. The goal is to find your person.
Pro Tip:
Take breaks if you need to. Online dating can be overwhelming, especially if you’re not getting the results you want right away. It’s okay to hit pause and come back when you feel refreshed.
4. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
Remember when I said to embrace the new you? Well, that includes not taking yourself too seriously. Dating should be fun! Yes, I know it can be nerve-wracking, especially if it’s been a while since you were “on the market,” but try to approach it with a sense of humor.
Let’s be real—dating after divorce can come with some baggage, and you might meet some characters out there who are still figuring things out (just like you). Instead of stressing over every bad date or awkward conversation, try to laugh it off. It’s all part of the process.
Besides, the stories you’ll gather from online dating? Priceless. You’ll have enough material for a Netflix special by the time you’re done.
Pro Tip:
When chatting with potential dates, don’t be afraid to inject some humor into your conversations. Everyone appreciates someone who can make them laugh—it’s a great icebreaker and an easy way to see if someone’s on the same wavelength as you.
5. Know Your Deal-Breakers
Now that you’ve been through a marriage and divorce, you probably have a much better idea of what you want and what you absolutely don’t want in a partner. That’s invaluable information, so use it! Don’t waste time trying to make something work if you know deep down it won’t.
Deal-breakers can be anything from lifestyle differences, political views, family values, or even something as simple as whether or not they have pets (hey, I’m a dog person, and that’s a deal-breaker for me!).
It’s not about being picky—it’s about protecting your peace and ensuring that the next relationship you enter is one that truly makes you happy.
Pro Tip:
When writing your profile or talking to matches, be upfront about what you’re looking for and what you’re not looking for. It’s better to be clear from the start rather than waste time with someone who’s not a good fit.
6. Protect Your Heart (But Not Too Much)
I’m going to get real with you for a second. After a divorce, it’s natural to have your guard up. You’ve been hurt, you’ve been through a lot, and the idea of getting vulnerable again might make you want to run for the hills.
But here’s the thing—you’re not going to find love if you’re always holding back. Yes, protect your heart, but don’t build a wall so high that no one can get in. Take things slow, but be open to the possibility of love again. It’s out there.
Just remember to listen to your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust yourself and your intuition. You’ve been through this rodeo before.
Pro Tip:
Give yourself grace. Healing from a divorce is a journey, and finding love after divorce is a process. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away.
7. Be Honest About Your Past (When the Time Is Right)
This one can be tricky, but it’s important. When you’re ready, be honest with your potential partner about your divorce. You don’t have to lay it all out on the first date (or even the second), but if things start getting serious, the conversation will need to happen.
Everyone has a past, and a good match will understand that. What matters is how you’ve grown and moved on from it. Don’t be afraid to be open about your experiences—they’ve shaped you into the person you are today, and that person deserves love.
Pro Tip:
The right person won’t run from your past; they’ll appreciate the lessons you’ve learned and how you’ve become stronger because of it.
8. Have Fun
At the end of the day, dating should be fun. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of finding “the one,” but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Whether it’s going on a new adventure, trying out new restaurants, or just having fun conversations with someone new, enjoy the experience.
Life after divorce is a fresh start, and you deserve to have fun along the way.
Final Thoughts
Online dating after divorce might seem daunting, but it’s also a fresh opportunity to discover yourself and meet someone amazing. Just remember to be patient, keep your sense of humor intact, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
You’ve been through a lot, but guess what? You’re still here, ready to open a new chapter. And honestly, I can’t wait to see where it takes you. So go on—swipe right, take the plunge, and enjoy the ride.
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